Discover the power of your self-care rituals: What unconscious habits reveal about your self-image.

We live in a time where beauty is seen as something we can control and shape. We're surrounded by unrealistic images that define what's beautiful and what’s decidedly not. For many women—yes, even those who believe they’re free from insecurities—it can be surprisingly revealing to take a closer look at your self-care rituals. These routines often tell you much more about your true self-image than you may realize. 

Optical illusions

Until just a few days ago, part of my makeup routine was making my lips look smaller. I wear little makeup, but I rarely leave the house without lipstick. My ritual always started with a lip liner, which I’d carefully apply just a few millimeters inside my natural lip line to create the illusion of thinner lips. At some point, I guess I've decided my lips were too full, feeling that they needed this small optical illusion.

Creatures of habit

As creatures of habit, we humans often walk well-worn paths in our minds. I had never stopped to question why I altered my lips this way until very recently. In this phase of my life, where I'm learning to accept and value myself anew, these seemingly innocent habits have surfaced again with a question I can't ignore: “Does this still fit?”

A little experiment

Out of curiosity, I tried something different. This time, I applied the lip liner along the natural edge of my lips and followed with my favorite red lipstick. 

You might think it’s a trivial example—what’s the big deal? But as I looked in the mirror, something shifted on a deeper level. I was moved by the fullness of my lips. I felt a wave of pride and surprise that it had taken me 37 years to truly appreciate their beauty. 

“These lips are part of me! They aren’t here to be minimized but to be shown off with pride.” This simple change in my makeup routine rippled through my entire self-image, lifting it in a way I hadn’t expected. 

We all do it

I realized that, as women, we often adjust our clothing, makeup, and hairstyles, consciously or unconsciously, to hide our insecurities. There’s a difference between masking insecurities and highlighting what naturally belongs to us. In reality, these two often overlap, but consider the energy behind each approach. 

Now take a moment to reflect on your own habits. Why do you always choose certain clothes or colors? If you wear makeup, why this specific routine? Why do you style your hair in a certain way and never any other?

Be aware

This isn’t about judgment or labeling anything as righ or wrong. You can absolutely make choices that help cover up something you feel self-conscious about. Maybe it’s dyeing your hair, using shapewear, or microblading your eyebrows. But take a fresh look at your self-care rituals and ask yourself: Do they still fit the person you are—or want to be?

Try something different

If you feel ready to explore, try a small experiment like I did. If you catch yourself in a habit meant to hide or alter some part of you, consider what it feels like to skip or soften it. 

They could be small, almost invisible details that no one else would notice. But what matters is how it feels to you and what effect it has on your self-perception. 

We all have "something"

Wrinkles, pimples, a prominent nose, full or thin lips, broad or narrow hips, light eyebrows, short legs, thick thighs, thin hair, a soft belly. No woman is perfect; we all have features we’re less than thrilled about—sometimes a whole list of them. Here’s the choice: You can let insecurity and dissatisfaction weigh on you, constantly working to hide it. Or you can learn to accept that part of yourself, simply because it’s part of you! Stop hiding it and start embracing it with pride. The choice is yours. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, rooted far more in what you exude and how you feel inside than in what’s visible on the outside.

Maybe no one will even notice that my lips look a bit fuller now, but my renewed sense of self-worth will be felt from miles away. 

That, my dear reader, is what I hope for you, too!